Just a Jedi
by Elros275
Summary: There are Jedi upon whom the fate of the Galaxy turns. The likes of Anakin Skywalker, Obi-wan Kenobi, and Yoda. Then there are others whose skills and abilities only gives them a chance to survive in a dangerous galaxy. This is the story of one of those Jedi.
1. Discovered

I: Discovered

I sit alone in a crowd in my home. There are many children in this home. Girls, boys, human, and not, of many ages. We all have one mother, but she isn't actually our mother, just like none of us are actually siblings.

I'm sitting in the center of the big room, which I call that because it's bigger than the other rooms, some of which we sleep in and others food comes from. Mother calls it the "common area" but in my mind it isn't so. I am alone in the center of the big room, although there are several other children running around, playing. Most of them are bigger than me, but the biggest ones play outside most of the time, or run around not playing.

They are different from me. Or perhaps I am different from them. That is what makes me separate, why I am alone. I don't know how I know this, but I do. There is nothing I see, hear, feel, smell, or taste that tells me, but I can sense it all the same. It is something that I have no words to describe, regardless of the fact that I have no words to begin with.

I turn to see the door to the outside open. I had not heard it open, I simply knew that it was so. Mother walks in, along with an unfamiliar man. This man is different, by which I mean that he is like me. Not physically, his skin is different from mine and he wears a strange mask, among other things. But I can sense that he can sense like I can. If that makes any sense.

This man looks around the room. Some of the bigger children regard him with a passing sense of familiarity for a moment before resuming their activities.

The man turns to Mother. "I see that you've got a few new charges, Madam."

Mother smiles sweetly at the man, but not in the same way that she does to us children. "Yes, Master Plo, I do. I must say that I wasn't expecting you. I hadn't heard that you were on Alderaan."

"I was passing through this sector and had some time to spare, so I thought I'd stop by," Plo says as he starts to slowly walk around the big room. He looks at a few of the children, silently appraising them before moving on. When he reaches me he stops.

"This one, what is his name?" Plo says to Mother.

"Him? Oh, his name is Janus Alter," Mother tells Plo. "20 standard months old, his father died in a transport accident prior to his birth and his mother passed away shortly after delivering him. They spent a few months looking for his closest living relation but they never found any, so they sent him to me."

"Is he always this distant?" Plo asks. "From the other children, that is."

"Yes, he is, now that you mention it," Mother confirms. "What, do think that you might able to take him?"

"Possibly," Plo states as he sits cross legged in front of me. I can feel him touch me, though his hands sit still in his lap. I can feel him in my mind. It isn't intrusive, nor are any thoughts or feelings communicated. It is a mere presence, a gentle one in fact, and I react. It is the mental equivalent of poking a baby in the stomach and it giggling and squirming in response.

Several more times he touches me without touching, each time in a slightly differing manner, though if you asked me how they differed I could not tell you. After this is done he stands and turns to Mother.

"He is force-sensitive and we can train him," Plo tells her. "I will take him, if you will allow it."

"Of course," Mother replies. "You're welcome to any you think are capable, at any time. With the Jedi I know they will be well taken care of and will do some good for the galaxy. Besides, the money you give me for them is nothing to sneeze at," she adds half jokingly.

Plo bows respectfully to Mother. "Thank you. I will have the money transferred to you as soon as possible. You should receive it before I arrive at Coruscant."

"Thank you very much, Master Plo," Mother says with a smile.

Within the next ten minutes I am wrapped in a simple cloth and handed to Plo. Mother ruffles my hair and gives wishes of good luck. She has the rest of the children gathered to say goodbye, though most of them don't care one way or another that I'm leaving or where I'm leaving to. A few of the bigger children whisper about how they wish they could be Jedi, but I don't know what that means.

The door closes behind us and a new life opens in front of me, though I don't know it yet. Plo carries me firmly, with great care. But there isn't the same affection that I get from Mother on the occasions that she picks me up. He also doesn't talk to me. Perhaps he doesn't feel the need. I can understand why. Chances are I wouldn't really comprehend what he was saying anyway.

We make our way to a large metal house. It flies away, with us inside of it. Plo puts me down once we're away, someplace safe and secure. Plo comes every once in a while to check on me. He looks after me and gives me attention, but there is a distance there. Not to say that he doesn't care, but that he is somewhat…detached. Kind of like me.

At some point during one of my naps we leave the floating metal home. I wake in a darkened room on comfortable pillows, on a pedestal low to the ground. I hear a door open and Plo walks in with a green man not much bigger than me.

"This, the child is?" the little green man asks. He has a weird way of talking

"Yes," Plo answers, "his name in Janus Alter, from Alderaan. 20 months old, no living relations."

"See, I do," the green man replies. He closes his eyes and tests me in much the same way that Plo did earlier. His presence is notably stronger, out of proportion completely with his size, but it is no less gentle and nonintrusive.

"Hm, strong with the Force, this one is. Great potential he has," the little green man says once he is finished.

"I thought the same, Master Yoda," Plo says as he and the little green man leave the room. The door closes behind them and I am left in darkness, not knowing the significance of all the events that had transpired.


	2. Learning

II: Learning

I lean back in a chair in the Jedi Archives, reading. This has been my most common hangout for the past couple of years, roughly. For as long as I can remember I have lived in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. I have been told that I come from an orphanage on Alderaan, but any memory of such a time or place eludes me entirely.

My only memories consist of living in the Jedi temple, along with a group of children my own age, numbering eight. We're told that the class is a little smaller than usual, but I've never been a part of any other group, so I don't know about it.

I have been told about this thing called the Force, at a most basic level, and that I am sensitive to it, something that most people are not. I can feel it in those around me. Most of the people I see around me are force-sensitive, but some, such as most of the nurses and teachers that have taken of and teach me, are not.

My little group of eight has spent much of our time learning languages, which I struggle with at times, and reading, something that I excel in. At this moment I am reading a passage from a storybook about old Jedi legends. Its really meant for someone three or four years older than me, but I can understand it and I've already exhausted the material meant for my age group.

Madam Jocasta, the librarian who maintains the Archive, walks by and smiles when she sees me. Many of the older Jedi have a tendency to do that when they see me. I smile back at her.

I try to return to my reading, but I'm distracted when a hand ruffles my short, light brown hair. The hand belongs to Kira Morituri, another of the children in my class, a Tholothian girl, with dark skin and deep blue eyes, always wearing a headdress that covers her hair and with tendrils of cloth that come down and drape her shoulders. She always messes with my hair whenever she sees me, says that it's really soft. I take her word for it.

"What you doing?" she asks as she sits next to me. We both fit into the same chair, since its made for someone more than twice as wide as either of us.

"Reading," I answer quickly.

"Reading what?" she presses as she leans in to get a look.

I push her back, away from the datapad in my hand. "A book."

"Well, duh," she replies, "what's it about?"

"Jedi," I say as I try to find where I was before I got distracted.

"What kind of Jedi?" Kira continues her questioning.

"Old ones," I say as I find the spot.

"Like, old like Master Yoda?" Kira says, misunderstanding my meaning. "That doesn't sound very interesting."

"No, as in stories that are old," I correct her. "They're legends, that's what that means."

"Oh, ok," she says. She starts swinging her legs back and forth and humming. I let her be as I continue reading.

After a moment Kira breaks her silence. "Hey, do you know where you're from? Like, before you came to the temple."

I shift my sitting position. "Alderaan. I don't remember it though, I was real young when Master Plo brought me here."

Kira's curiosity is peaked by the mention of Plo's name. "Master Plo. Is he the one who visits you all the time?"

"Yes," I answer.

"Wow," Kira says. "I don't even know who brought me to the temple."

I raise an eyebrow as I glance over at Kira. "They never told you?"

Kira shakes her head. "They did, I just don't remember who it was. You're the only one of us who actually gets visits from the Jedi who brought you to the temple."

I hadn't realized that before. "Huh."

"Talking about me now, eh, little Janus? I hope it's only nice things."

I look up to see Master Plo standing across the table from us. "Oh, hi, Master."

Plo chuckles. "Hello to you too. And you, miss Kira."

Kira smiles at the mention of her name.

"Well, I'm afraid there is reason for me finding you here," Plo says. "I knew I would find Janus, though it's good that both of you were here."

"Why, Master Plo?" I ask.

"Come, little ones," Plo says as he turns from us.

I stow away my datapad, leaving it on the page that I was reading. Kira and I hope down from the chair and go around the table to follow Plo. He leads us out of the Archive, walking with his hands clasped behind his back. He takes us down several halls to the turbolifts.

We go down to the first floor, a large common area with large doors at the cardinal compass directions and smaller doors doting the walls between the large doors and the turbolifts at the four corners of the rooms. There is another turbolift in the center of the common area.

Plo leads us through one of the smaller doors into another set of hallways. Very soon we enter a circular room lined with many windows and seats. The other children from my class are here, as is Master Yoda.

"Master Plo, thank you for finding these children, I do," Yoda says. "Your responsibility, it was not. Go and search for them, I was preparing to do."

"It was no problem, Master," Plo replies, "I was looking for Janus anyway, to wish him luck as he embarked on the next stage of his journey."

I look up at Plo. "Next stage?"

"Yes, young one," Yoda says as he slowly walks towards me and Kira, his walking stick sounding out his every other step. Even as young and small as I am he's still a head shorter than me. "Today, begin your training as a Jedi, you do."

There are whoops of joy from the other children in the room. Kira smiles at me and punches me playfully in the shoulder.

"Now, now, the others you should join," Yoda says, motioning at us with his walking stick.

Plo says his farewell and leaves before Kira and I move to obey and gather with the other children. Yoda paces back and forth in front of us.

"Know what the Force is, do you?" Yoda asks as he stops pacing.

None of us answer.

"An energy field created by all living things, it is," Yoda says after a few minutes of silence. "Surrounds us and penetrates us and binds the galaxy together, it does."

"What does that mean?" Falen Lassiter, a red-haired human boy, the oldest and biggest of our group, asks impatiently.

Yoda chuckles a bit at that question. "Means that the force exists in you, me, and all living things, it does."

Falen is obviously not satisfied with that, but also sees that he's not going to get the answer he wants. He stays quiet and allows Yoda to continue with the lesson.

"Sensitive to The Force, all of you are," the ancient master says, motioning at us with his cane. "Use it you can to reach beyond and within yourselves."

"How?" Nahdar Vebb, a Mol Calamari boy, asks.

Silently, Yoda closes his eyes and holds out his hand. Eight little metal cubes, small enough to fit in the palm of my hand, float out of Yoda's robes and begin to levitate around the room, spinning in a slow circle. They begin to descend and we clear out a space for them in the middle of the room.

"Reach out with The Force, you must," Yoda tells us. "Lift these, you shall."

The eight of us look at each other, unsure of what to do next. I make the first move, sitting down in front of a cube cross legged, closing my eyes and focusing on it, holding my hand out towards it. I can feel Kira following my lead and sitting next to me. Slowly all the other children do the same.

For several minutes we all sit there, trying to lift these cubes and finding no success. Master Yoda had done it so easily, with all eight and we can't even lift one. How did he do it? I try to visualize a small hand lifting the cube into the air, but nothing happens.

I'm distracted when one of the other kids, I'm too focused on lifting the box to notice which one, asks Yoda a question. "Master, why did it take so long for us to start this?"

"Hm? Have a question, do you?" Yoda says. "Lack of focus you are showing, young one, but answer, I shall. Started this training when you were supposed to, you did. Start we do when all the younglings in a class turn five."

I open my eyes to see a few of the kids eying me almost accusingly. I am the youngest and smallest of our group by a fair margin, but that's not something that I can really be blamed for.

I close my eyes again and return my thoughts to the little metal cube. I try to change my approach. Instead of trying to visualize a hand lifting the cube I imagine it simply floating in the air. I can feel something happening and I open my eyes. The cube isn't floating, but it is shaking as I focus on it and the image of it levitating.

I close my eyes again and renew my focus. I strain as I try to concentrate on the image in my mind, my brow furrowing. I feel a response from…something, I suppose it must be The Force. I open my eyes and see that I have done it. It only floats for a few seconds and only a little bit off the ground, but it does it. The other students are looking at me, most in amazement. One pair of eyes looks on jealously.

Yoda laughs good-naturedly. "Well done, young one, well done."

"How could you do that?" Falen asks. "You're the youngest and the smallest of us, how could you do it first? Before me!"

Before I know what's happening, Falen stands up, walks the few steps over to me, and angrily pushes me onto my back. In a flash Kira is on her feet, putting herself between me and Falen.

Yoda parts them with his cane. "Give not into jealousy, for it leads to anger, and anger leads to suffering and the Dark Side of The Force." He bangs his walking stick against the ground authoritatively. "Finished with your lessons for today, I think we are. Go and reflect on what you have learned, and tomorrow return with a clear mind. Dismissed, you are."

I get up from the floor and dust myself up, but no sooner had I done that Falen pushes me again, though this time I stay on my feet. I stand my ground, not acting aggressive, but unwilling to take anything else from Falen.

"Falen," Yoda says, "discussion we must have, hm? Come with me, you shall." The ancient master meanders his way out of the room, Falen in tow. As they exit the boy turns to me and sticks out his tongue.

"What's up with him?" I wonder aloud of Falen once Kira and I are alone in the room.

"Don't worry about it," Kira says. "He just thinks that because he's the oldest he has to be the best at everything." Kira smiles at me slyly. "But he wasn't today." She ruffles my hair. "You were great during the lesson, that was so cool!"

"Thanks," I say, not that I really think that what I did was anything special.

"Hey, you hungry?" Kira asks, looking ready to take off running.

I hadn't been thinking about food, but now that it's mentioned. "Sure."

"Alright then, let's go eat!" Kira says before lightly pushing me and running down the hall. "Come on, I'll race you!"

"Hey, no fair!" I yell as I start running after her.


	3. Training

III: Training

"Come on, wake up," I hear vaguely.

Leaving the world of a forgotten dream behind, I lay on a bed in a dark room wanting nothing more than to remain in my restful, blissful sleep.

"Come on, wake up," the voice persists, more urgently.

"Janus, wake up!"

Shaken awake, I open my eyes. I lazily close them again, vying for more sleep. As my eyelids fall I see a blurry sight of Kira standing over me.

"Janus, we can't be late for today's training session," Kira says.

"Five more minutes," I mumble as I turn away from her.

"You said that ten minutes ago," Kira replies.

I open my right eye and turn my head look at her, my vision clearing as I blink away my tiredness. "Fine, just...give me a minute to get ready."

Kira nods and leaves my quarters as I slowly sit up in my bed. For five years now I've had to get up early for training and still I find it difficult. I drag myself to the washroom and splash some water on my face. I take another three minutes to finish getting ready and step out into the hall where Kira waits for me.

She takes a moment to look at me before running her hand through my hair. "Looking good. Lets go."

"Yeah," I reply as we start walking down the hall.

"What do you think we're going to do today?" Kira asks excitedly as we walk.

I shrug my shoulders. "We'll see." Over the past five years we had been trained in a variety of fields, from lightsaber combat to philosophy. I really don't know what to expect.

"What, no guesses?" Kira says in response. "Maybe today we'll finally build our own lightsabers!"

I shake my head and sigh. "You know that we're not going to do that for another few years, Kira."

"I know, but that just seems so far away," she replies. "A few years is, like, forever."

I don't necessarily disagree with her, but I don't say anything. We make the rest of the way to our class in relative silence, arriving just in time. However, Master Yoda is not present, and all eight of us younglings are standing quietly, awkwardly, in the middle of the room not entirely sure what to do without the Grand Master of the Order there guiding us.

After a few minutes standing around looking at each other the door opens and an elderly Cosian Jedi, with gray hair and a cane, meanders into the room with his tail swishing behind and takes a seat in one of the chairs lining the walls of the room.

He seems not to notice us at first, but after siting he looks around the room and addresses us. "I"m sorry, I seem to have interrupted a class. I was just looking for a quiet place to rest these old bones."

All of the children look around at each other, unsure of what to do. They eventually all turn to look at Kira for direction. "It is no problem, Master," she says for all of the class. She tends to lead us, as she gets along with almost everyone she meets. It is something of gift she has. "We were just waiting for Master Yoda to arrive so we can start our lessons."

"Ah, yes, Master Yoda," the elder Jedi says, "a great teacher indeed. But why do you need to wait for him?"

Kira, looking a bit baffled by the question, responds, "well…we still need to learn how to be a Jedi, and…and…Master Yoda has been teaching us."

"Hm, so he has" the Cosian says, "but part of the life a Jedi is self contemplation. Can you not teach yourself in this regard? Indeed," he adds with a chuckle, "are you not the only person who can teach you that?"

Kira has no response to this and no one else offers anything.

After about a minute Falen stirs from his quiet. "Enough of this. If you're not here to teach us, get out."

"Patience, young one," the elder Jedi responds, "don't be so hasty to jump to conclusions, nor to anger. Those are not the Jedi way."

Falen hangs his head, embarrassed by his mistake. Even as he has gotten older he has had difficulty conquering his temper and impatience.

For about another minute, one that felt closer to five, we stand about in an awkward silence. Then a theory pops into my head and I choose to test it. "Master, you're supposed to be our teacher today, aren't you?"

The Cosian turns to face me, his face blank. Then a smile forms on his beaked mouth. "Very perceptive, young one. Yes, I am Master Tera Sinube and I will be training you alongside Master Yoda from now on because, well, I'm too old for most anything else." He chuckles and taps his cane a few times.

Falen eyes me angrily. Another thing that he's had a hard time learning is that he doesn't have to be the best at everything and over the years we've developed something of a rivalry with each other because I am strongest where he is weakest, in intellect and The Force. It's rather one sided on his part.

Her composure regained, Kira asks our new instructor, "what are we going to learn today, Master?"

Sinube stares at Kira, almost as if he were judging her like he would a work of art. "A natural leader," he says, "but easily flustered by an unfamiliar situation." He turns to Falen. "Impatient and short-tempered. But I sense a desire to learn behind that." Then he looks at me. "An observer, who sees all that is put before him and looks for the meaning behind. But can you do more than watch?"

After this series of critiques Sinube leans back in his chair, looking around at the eight children gathered around him, waiting for a response. When none came he continues. "Today I would like to see where each of you, as individuals and as a collective, are after five years of training." Sinbue places a hand on his chin thoughtfully. "Was it five years?" he says seemingly to himself, "Yes, I'm quite certain that Master Yoda told me that these children are ten." He shakes his head as he returns to his lesson. "Anyway, I would like to start with a question. What is the nature of The Force?"

I immediately raise my hand and Master Sinube calls on me. "The Force is an energy field created by all living things, it surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together. Those sensitive to it can learn to use for a variety of purposes. Protection, persuasion, moving objects, and many other things." I feel a certain sense of pride in my knowledge and that I was the first to answer, though in truth I am only repeating things I had been told previously.

Sinube looks down upon me thoughtfully. "Good. Now what does that mean?"

I stare back at him in blank shock. I'd never been asked anything like that before. He turns to each of the other children, silently prompting each for a response. No one gives one.

Sinube stands up and starts walking out the door. "Come, let us not waste anymore time."

Confused, we children follow our new instructor out of the classroom, heading towards the common area of the Temple. Along the way I am absorbed in thoughts about the nature of The Force, what Master Sinube was asking for. When we reach it we are directed to one of the turbolifts, this one leading to the southwest tower. Still I think only on The Force.

Master Sinube hits a button once we have all crowded into a lift and we begin to go down to one of the lower levels. I'm too focused on my inner contemplations on The Force to notice which one. When the door opens I exit the turbolift along with everyone else.

Inside is one of the Temple's many training rooms, but this one had been modified. There is a stand with training sabers and remotes for swordsmanship training. A customizable obstacle course, weights for strength training, and a variety of other equipment for a variety of different purposes.

"I had this room prepared for us," Master Sinube says as we walk out into the chamber. "You may train in anything you desire with any of the equipment you see around you."

I look around the room as several of the other children talk excitedly among themselves. Five of them, led by Kira, go towards the obstacle course and start setting it up. I, however, find a quiet and secluded corner of the room to sit in and begin to think about The Force and the question that Master Sinube had asked me.

"Hey, Janus."

Distracted from my barely-begun contemplations, I look up to see Falen standing above me with a training saber in his hand. "Come on, let's spar."

I know why he's asking. He's not only the biggest and strongest in our class, he also has the most advanced swordsmanship skills. In contrast, I rank last in both areas. Falen knows he can beat me in a fight.

"Leave me alone," I say sharply as I stand up and turn my back to him.

I suddenly feel…something…in the back of my mind. I duck as the green blade of Falen's training saber swings through the space where my head had been. I tuck into a roll and move towards open space.

Training sabers can't kill or cut, only stun, but that doesn't mean that I want to risk being hit by it. I spot the rack where Falen got his saber and call on The Force to pull one to my hand, a trick no one else in my class has quite mastered, and it answers my summon. The saber flies past Falen and I grab it, igniting its blue blade.

Smiling at the opportunity to fight, Falen steps forward, slashing at me from my left. I block it and push the blow to the side. He takes another step and goes at my right. I block it again, but the force of the attack knocks me off off balance and I stumble and lose my balence. A third strike again from my right sends me to knees. Seeing an opportunity Falen comes at me with a savage downward slash. In a moment of panic I call on The Force to push him away, holding both my hands out in front of me. Falen suddenly flies back several feet, his training saber clattering to the floor as he loses his grip on it.

Laying on his back, Falen looks up at me with a look of complete and utter shock. It quickly turns to rage as he jumps to his feet and charges at me, grabbing his saber from the ground, reactivating it, and making to run me through with it.

I struggle to get to get to my feet, but the exertion from my display of Force power has left me exhausted and I can't get up from my knees. All I can do is hold my saber feebly in front of me.

Suddenly there is a flash of light as Master Sinube puts himself between us, the pure white blade of his lightsaber activated. Moving with a speed that I'd thought impossible for such an old man, he disarms Falen with a simple flick of his wrist, sending the training saber flying up into the air and grabbing it with his off hand with the greatest of ease. He then deactivates his lightsaber and turns to me, holding out his hand. My training saber is suddenly torn from my grip and settles itself in his.

Falen and I look up at Master Sinube in awe of the skill he'd just displayed and in fear of punishment that we would receive from him. In silence he takes the two training sabers and slowly shuffles over to the weapons rack and returns them to their proper place. He then uses The Force to pull his cane back from he'd left it and reattaches his own saber to it, hidden in plain sight.

As he slowly shuffles back to us I can feel my heart rate speeding up and my breathing becoming more shallow and feverish. The rest of the universe disappears from my focus as I begin to imagine what kind of disciplining Master Sinube has in mind.

"I think you two are done for the day. Come with me, younglings," Sinube says before turning from us and walking towards his seat against the wall. "The rest of you go back to what you were doing," he yells out as he moves along.

Falen and I look at each other, both of us silently expressing our confusion.

"Come on," Sinube urges us as he continues walking.

"Yes, master," Falen and I both mutter as we make to follow him. Once we're out of earshot of the other children, who are now all taking part in the increasingly elaborate obstacle course, I expect that we'll be receiving a stern lecture. Instead he sits down in his chair. Falen and I exchange more confused looks.

"Well come on, sit," Master Sinube says after a moment, gesturing to the spots on the floor next to him. After a moment's hesitation we sit down, putting ourselves on either side of our instructor.

For several minutes Master Sinube doesn't say anything and I look at him out of the corner of my eye, suspicious. However, he seems entirely focused on the other students, so eventually I follow suit.

The others have finished setting up their obstacle course and started taking turns running it, timing each other to see who it fastest. Nahdar is the first to go and he puts in an impressive run which the others have difficulty beating. Kira is eventually able to rally all the other children, minus myself and Falen, into trying to beat his time.

"So Janus, what were you meditating on?" Master Sinube asks.

I jump in surprise at his question. I had been so engrossed in watching the other children that I'd even forgotten that we were in trouble. "The Force," I say, "but I didn't get to think much about it." I glare over at Falen, who doesn't seem to be paying attention.

"Hm," Sinube says thoughtfully, "and what about now?"

I look down at the floor as I begin thinking. "Well…if The Force connects all living things to one another…then in a way, everything is one, because they all connect to the same Force."

Sinube makes an exaggerated show of thoughtfulness. "hm…interesting. And what does that mean?"

"It means…" I say before being momentarily distracted by the other children and their yelling. One of them had just beaten Nahdar's time. "If," I say as I return to the conversation, "everything is connected, if one is all and all is one, then you should respect all life. Because, from a certain point of view, you and it are the same."

Sinube smiles proudly at me. "Good, very good. Now why don't you apply that?" He leans back and my eyes focus in on Falen. It takes me a moment to realize what he means.

I look back up at Sinube with a look of trepidation on my face. He just smiles softly at me and motions at Falen. My eyes fall back to the boy. "Hey, Falen."

The redhead looks over at me, surprised that I'm addressing him.

"You want to race?" I ask, nodding at the obstacle course.

Falen looks at the course then back me. For a moment he seems confused, but realization soon hits him. "Yeah," he says as a smile begins to form on his face.

Together we get up and start running towards the other children gathered near the obstacle course. For the first time we share genuine laughs of joy.


	4. The Force

IV: The Force

It is early morning as I arrive at one of the Jedi Temple's main hangers, where class is set to meet for a special occasion. I'm aware that I'm late, but I feel no real need to hurry. I am the last of my classmates to arrive and I'm greeted by Kira.

"Hey you," she says as she ruffles my hair, "I see that you managed to get out of bed this morning."

"Yeah," I answer..

"Come on," Falen says, coming over to join us. "Not even Janus could sleep in when we're going to build lightsabers." He and I have developed a friendship over the past couple of years. Still a rivalry, but one with no anger or hate between us.

"Ohh," Kira says excitedly, "we're finally going to build them!"

"We don't know that," I point out. We'd never been told the purpose of this excursion.

"What else could it be?" Falen responds. "I bet this has something to do with building our lightsabers."

I nod absentmindedly. We'd never left the Jedi Temple before, so I don't really know what to expect. I'm more interested by the fact that no teacher was present, despite the fact I'd arrived late.

"Is Master Sinube coming with us?" I ask. "Or Master Yoda?"

Falen shrugs lazily as Kira answers. "We don't know. This is the right place, but no one else is here."

Just then a Jedi, an apprentice judging by his padawan braid, steps out of the hanger. "Ah, I see we're all here, finally." He gives me a knowing look. "I'm Padawan Obi-wan Kenobi, and I'll be your guide on the most important test of your young lives."

"Excuse me," one of the other children says, "what test?"

"This is the time for The Gathering," Obi-wan answers. "We will travel to the planet of Ilum, an ancient world sacred to the Jedi. There you will begin the construction of your own lightsabers."

All of us children burst into cheers at the prospect of constructing our lightsabers. Falen punches me playfully in the shoulder in a "I told you so" manner. I respond with a shrug and even I have to admit that the prospect excites me.

Obi-wan started to walk away from the celebrating students. "Well, come on. It wouldn't be good form if you didn't complete the trial because you missed the ship to Ilum."

Caught off guard by the comment we stopped our cheers and, in a panic, raced to get to the transport, getting their well ahead of Kenobi. The padawan maintains a slow pace, smiling as we speed past him, desperate not to be left behind.

We maintain a nervous energy as we board the ship and it holds as we take off, not dissipating until we leave the atmosphere of Coruscant. As everyone settles, getting over the excitement of being in space for the first time in our memories, the group starts to talk about what their lightsabers will be like.

I don't find this particularly interesting, so I go off explore our small transport. Most of it is simple. There is a cockpit, which I'm not allowed into, a cargo hold, which has nothing in it. I travel from place to place on the ship, moving quickly past unremarkable spot after unremarkable spot.

Lastly I find the storage lockers. I open all of them to find several sets of cold weather gear, heavy coats, snow boots, and the like. I inspect them closely to find most of the clothing is our size. Obviously this was meant to be here and Ilum is likely very cold, so I go ahead and find a set that fits me and put in on.

I decide that I was done with exploring and return to my fellows to take a seat next to Kira as Falen finishes describing his lightsaber in great detail.

"What are you wearing, Janus?" Nahdar asks.

I motion at the storage lockers. "I found some heavy winter gear. Ilum is probably very cold, or at least the part we're going to"

"Hm, sounds like there aren't going to be a lot of people there," one of my classmates says. "Why would they send us to someplace desolate?"

"That's probably part of the point of it," I reply.

"I see you've already figured that out" Obi-wan says, leaning against the door frame leading into the cockpit. "I was intending that to be something of a surprise, but no matter. I suggest you go ahead and gather your gear, we'll be arriving at Ilum within the hour."

The others dutifully get up and head towards the storage lockers. Having already done that I remain sitting.

With no one to talk to and nothing new to look at my thoughts turn to The Force. Having lived my life up to now on Coruscant in the Jedi Temple, I'm used to being surrounded not only by large numbers of people, but by people strong in The Force. You can feel the strength and power in the temple, but out here in the vacuum of space there is nothing and it seems empty by comparison. Yet still I can feel an echo of The Force, and there is something hauntingly beautiful about it way out here.

After everyone returns with their new cold weather gear it takes another 30-45 minutes for us to arrive at Ilum and another five to land. The whole time there is an air of anticipation as everyone thinks quietly on what could possibly be awaiting us.

Then we land and Obi-wan, in his own cold weather gear, leads us of into the bitter winds. In front of us a large and ancient temple, covered in layers of ice and snow, looms. The last to enter, I hear our transport take off and leave as I cross the threshold.

Realizing that we're likely to be here for a while, I take a deep breath and lower the hood on my coat as I walk into a large, high ceilinged chamber. In the center sits Master Yoda, meditating.

"Welcome younglings," the diminutive master says as we gather around him, "today, begin the construction of your lightsabers, you do." His own weapon floats out of his robes and activates before hanging lazily above our heads. "At the heart of the Jedi's weapon, the Kyber Crystal is, a conduit of The Force." The lightsaber deactivates and returns to Master Yoda.

Obi-wan steps forward and motions at a large archway on the far side of the chamber. "Beyond that are the Ice Caverns. Within you will find your crystals. But beware. Take too long and you will sealed in by a wall of ice, trapped within until the next sunrise."

I look at the archway, not thinking it too much of a challenge. It is massive and will likely take a while before it is sealed.

"Only you can know your crystal," Obi-wan continues, "when you have succeeded, return here."

Chattering excitedly amongst themselves the other children run into the caverns. I walk in after them at a leisurely pace. What was one group slits into two then again into three and then four and so on. I continue on my own path, disconnected from my fellows, not bothering to keep track of them.

I wonder the Ice Caverns for what seem to be hours. At times I see one or two or my classmates and we pass each other by without a word.

With no sign of anything resembling a crystal I start to become more frantic. I move faster and with greater urgency. But it is to no avail and my crystal is no where to be found. More and more my time grows short.

As I begin to feel the temperature drop I see Falen. He seems to be holding something in his hands, cradling it as if were something of great value. I suppose that it is.

"Is that your crystal?" I anxiously ask Falen as I get near him.

"Yes," Falen says quietly. He looks up from his precious jewel at me. "Found yours?"

"No," I answer as Falen's crystal faintly glows. "I haven't seen anything but ice and rock."

Falen starts walking past me. "You better hurry up. I think you and Kira are the last ones in here."

"Uh-huh," I say as I resume my search. I don't care about who else is in here. I intend to do this on my own.

I continue along the tunnel until I come to an intersection and take a right. I can't be certain but something tells me that I'm near the far back end of the caverns. The tunnel slowly slopes upward and I reach the crest I can see Kira standing at the bottom of a large formation of rock and ice.

Kira, who looks to have been pacing back and forth in frustration, sees me and calls out my name. I decide to go see what she has to say and approach her.

"Haven't found yours?" she asks as I near.

"No," I answer as I look around. More rock and ice, nothing that looks like a crystal. It's also a dead end, so I'm going to have to turn around.

"I've found mine," Kira says as she looks up at the ice formations. "At least I think that it's mine." She points up at ledge near the ceiling. "Do you see the glowing?"

I follow her gaze up to that ledge, easily 50 feet above us. "No, I don't."

"Hm," Kira replies before shrugging. "Hey, will you help me up there?"

I look at her for a moment before I start walking away. "No. Why would you need my help?"

"There are no good handholds," she replies.

I look up and see that she's right. "Yeah, but I've got my own crystal to find."

"Come on, Janus," Kira pleads, "we're friends, you should help me. And I'll help you."

"Alright," I say as feelings of guilt start to overcome me.

I walk back over to Kira and start to look over possible paths to the ledge. I shake my head. "There's nothing. No good hand holds and no lower ledges that are big enough." I turn to Kira. "Are you sure that this is it?"

"I'm sure, absolutely," she answers without looking at me.

I continue to think it over in my head until an idea comes to me. "I'll throw you up there."

Kira looks at me in complete and utter surprise. "What?!"

"I'll use The Force," I reply.

For a moment Kira looks as though she'll reject the idea but then she seems to accept it. "OK, but just…be careful."

I focus my mind and hold my hands out towards my friend. "Don't worry, I will." I reach out with The Force and grasp her with its invisible power. Putting all my physical and mental energy into it I sling her up. Panting from the exertion, I look up as she sails up into the air. At about 45 feet up she begins to crest. Reacting quickly I reach out with The Force. For a moment I think that I fail as she begins to fall, but then she lurches and starts to float in place. My arms shake from the strain as I try to keep her suspended in the air.

"Um, Janus, do something!" Kira yells from above.

"I am!" I cry out as I close my eyes and concentrate harder. I begin to sweat as I push her gently upwards. I open my eyes and see Kira grasp the ledge with both hands. I let her go and she almost loses her grip as gravity reasserts its control. But she manages to hold on and pull herself up.

She disappears from view for a short while but then reappears, holding something, presumably her crystal, above her head triumphantly. "I've got it!"

I smile at her good fortune. "Good!" Then something distracts me. There is a sudden burst of light from behind Kira, silhouetting her before dimming and becoming a soft glow.

I stand there slack jawed for several seconds before I shake my head and get myself together. "Did you see that light?" I yell.

Kira looks around her, confused. "No," she answers.

"Well I did," I reply, "and it came from up there."

"Do you think it's your crystal?" Kira asks me.

"Yes," I answer immediately and confidently.

"Ok…and how are you getting up here?" the Tholothian questions.

I pace around, trying to think of a way up there on my own. I stop when I realize that I'll have to trust Kira with my life.

"I'm going to jump," I yell out.

"What? You can't jump this high!" Kira points out.

"Yeah," I reply, "that's why you're going to bring me up the rest of the way."

Kira is silent for a moment before confirming that. "Ok. Ready when you are."

I take several deep breaths and crouch down into a jumping position. Using The Force to fuel the muscles of my legs and to propel myself upward, I leap. I make it about 30 feet before I start to crest and Kira catches me telekinetically. I feel an overwhelming sense of helplessness as I slowly float upward with no control. An enormous sense relief comes over me when I land safely on the ledge and a winded Kira relinquishes her hold.

"Ok," I say, "I'm never letting you do that again."

Kira shrugs as she sits down and catches her breath. "Hey, I put my life in your hands, you should only be willing to do the same for me."

I realize what she's saying and silently berate myself for my own hypocrisy. I then notice the thin glow coming through the wall of ice and walk over to it. "It's here," I say as I run a gloved hand against the cold surface.

"Ok." Kira says, shifting into a kneeling position. "How are you getting to it?"

"The Force," I answer solemnly. I reach out with this invisible energy once more, searching for weak points in the ice. I start to pull at it and slowly cracks begin to form. Very quickly it begins to shake and we're knocked off balance.

Already kneeling low to the ground, Kira remains rooted. I'm not so lucky and stumble backwards, taking several steps towards the ledge. I teeter on the edge, feeling the empty air at my back, knowing that a fall here would be lethal. Kira grabs me by the wrist and pulls me back in, landing bodily on top of her.

I breath heavily as the shaking subsides, my head laying on her chest.

"Janus," Kira says.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Get off me."

In a moment of panic I roll off the girl and scramble to my feet. Getting my bearings straight I see the damage I had done to the wall. It isn't all that much, to be honest. A dent in the wall perhaps half a foot deep. But it was enough. Embedded in this new section of the wall was a blue crystal, glowing with its own light. I pull it out of its socket and marvel at it. I can feel the power within. These crystals, they're like The Force itself given physical form.

After I finish looking at my new treasure I put it in my pocket and realize that we're stuck 50 feet in the air with no safe way down. "Um, how are we going to get out of here?"

Kira notices something and walks to a spot in the wall that is noticeably more cracked than others. Sticking her hand into one of the larger fissures she pushes at it until it falls away rather easily, revealing a large chute.

"This might lead out," Kira says, her voice echoing.

I walk over and stick my head into our supposed escape route. It's more than big enough to fit one of us, seems to go quite a ways in either direction, and it's angled in such a way that it wouldn't be a straight fall down. "I don't know. It seems rather convenient, doesn't it?"

Kira shrugs her shoulders. "Let's just call it The Force."

With that she jumps into the chute, sliding downwards on her feet.

"Ah, come on," I say as I go in after her.

The chute goes for longer than I had expected, leveling out as it nears its end. For several minutes I slide down, light filtering through the surrounding ice. When I reach the bottom my slide down turns into a run, my momentum carrying me forward. Too late I see Kira standing against a wall, searching it for ways through. I can't stop running and I go straight into her, my momentum and the weight of both of us crashing through the ice wall.

As the shards of broken ice slowly float down from the air, I quickly pull myself off my friend. Getting my bearings I realize that we're at the entrance to the Ice Caverns. "Well, would you look at that."

"Yeah, but we're too late," Kira says as she pulls herself to her feet.

Indeed she's right. The entrance has been sealed over by ice. I walk over to it and peer through. I can barely make out figures on the other side of the new barrier. I look over my shoulder at the wall we had accidentally broken through earlier and decide that something similar could work here. Stepping back a few feet, I barge shoulder first into the obstacle. With a thud I bounce off, the wall no worse off for it.

I pace and forth quickly in front of the obstruction. "We're going to have to use The Force."

Kira looks up at the gigantic, solid looking wall. "I don't know, Janus. We've been stretching our abilities far enough today and we've gotten more than a little lucky." She shakes her head, looking defeated. "I'm…I'm not even sure that taking that thing down is possible."

"If we don't do it now we'll have to wait until sunrise, with no food or water." I pause and look at the ice surroundings. "And I'm willing to bet that this planet has long nights." I turn my attention to my friend. "Besides, I believe that we can do it."

Kira nods, looking more confident. "Alright."

"Focus all of your effort on a single spot," I say as we prepare. "Together, one, two, three." As one we push at the same point on the wall. There is a loud groan as it began to shake and flecks of ice began to rain down from the ceiling. After several seconds of this a large crack began to form, growing and spreading from the focal point of our attack.

"More!" I yell as I put my all into it. Everything disappears from my thoughts except this single spot on this wall, my will, and The Force. With a great final push the wall bursts, chunks breaking off and flying into the entrance chamber.

As bits of sparkling ice fall to the ground Kira and I stagger out, exhausted by our endeavors. I make it a few steps before I fall to my knees, Kira doesn't make it much further. Breathing heavily I look up to see Master Yoda walking towards us, smiling.

"Well done, younglings," he says as I pull myself into a sitting position, "completed your trial, you have."

"Wait," Kira says, "I thought you said we couldn't get through the ice."

"Contain you, the ice did," the diminutive Master says, "but trapped also by your own preconceptions, you were. Learned anything else, have you?"

Kira thinks about this for a moment. "That I should trust in my instincts."

Yoda turns to me and I realize that he wants me to answer too.

Taking a deep breath I try think of something, then the answer comes. "The Force is my ally," I look over at Kira, "but it doesn't have to my only one."

Yoda smiles and nods approvingly.

"What now?" I ask.

"You've done well," Obi-wan says, "but The Gathering is not yet over. Next you must use your new crystals to construct your lightsabers."

The gathered children celebrate at that, happy to be reaching such an important milestone in their lives as Jedi. I sit there confident, ready for the next challenge.


	5. My Life

V: My Life

After Kira and I had returned with our crystals than we were set to leave Ilum two transports had arrived within the hour of our completing the trials in the Ice Caverns.

One was smaller, which Master Yoda boarded, presumably to take go back to Coruscant, and a larger, older one for us children, chaperoned by Obi-wan.

As I step outside and look at the ship I notice the markings that adorn its hull. Beneath the scrapes and dust that had accumulated over the centuries I can clearly see the emblem of the Old Republic, dating this ship to at least 1000 years ago, before the reformation of the Old Republic into the modern Galactic Republic.

"Wow," I say as I come to a stop, my mouth agape with wonder.

Just as quickly the moment is interrupted when Falen lightly barges his shoulder into me.

"Come on," he says, walking past me. I follow him as the boarding ramp of the ancient transport opens to allow us entrance, a droid, looking as old or older than the ship, awaiting us.

"Greetings, young ones," the droid says as we file into the ship. "My name is Professor Huyang and I shall be aiding you in the final construction of your lightsabers."

The droid is humanoid in form and speaks with a masculine voice. I look at him with curiosity as I board the ship.

"How are you going to help us build lightsabers?" Falen asks, disbelief apparent in his voice. "You're a droid, you can't even use The Force."

"Well, I'll be, such an indolent child," Huyang says in indignation as we the boarding ramp closes behind us. "I will let you know that I've overseen more than a thousand generations worth of Jedi in the construction of their lightsabers."

"Yeah, yeah," Falen responds dismissively. "I bet Padawan Kenobi will be more help than you."

"I'm afraid not," Obi-wan says from in front of us. "I'm going to be piloting this ship while the Professor assists you in the lightsaber construction."

"Heh," I chuckle, lightly nudging Falen with my elbow as I walk past him.

"Yes," Huyang continues as we walk through the corridors, "I possess a complete database containing the schematics of every lightsaber ever built and the Jedi who created them. I also have at my disposal a variety of materials that you may wish to use."

"Yeah, sure," Falen says sarcastically as we turn in the corner into a room lined with shelves, with a simple crafting table near the back wall.

Falen looks around at the various selves lining the walls, brow raised in surprise.

"You were saying?" I ask sarcastically.

"Yes, Yes," Huyang says as we gather in the workspace, "here I have every material you could ever need and nearly all that you could want for the construction of your lightsaber, your greatest ally as a Jedi."

I look around the room and it is indeed impressive the sheer amount of material that is in here. I also notice that Obi-wan was no where to be seen, presumably headed for the cockpit in order to pilot the ship. The fact that the ship takes off only shortly after probably means that he's already there.

"Well, I suppose that means that we should get started," Huyang says. He reaches into one of the shelves and pulls several hand full of parts, one after another. "There are, of course, several parts which are necessary for a lightsaber. Aside from the obvious crystal, there is the power cell, the blade emitter, I'll also take the liberty to include blade length adjustors, and of course the circuitry, among other things." These begin to pile up on the table in front of Huyang, which he then organizes into eight piles, one for each of us. "There you go, younglings. Each of you take one set and begin. You may add other components as you see fit."

I take one of the piles and walk over to the corner of the room, sitting down crosslegged as I begin to inspect the different components. I have a good working knowledge of these parts, after all the Jedi education involves more than just combat and I'd always done well in the the electrical engineering lessons, though it wasn't my favorite subject.

On the floor I begin to arrange the necessary pieces in roughly where each piece will be in relation to each other in the final product. Lastly in take my Kyber Crystal from my pocket, emitting a faint, pale light, and place it in the middle of the arrangement.

"Ah, I see you've got a good start there," Huyang says, standing over me.

"Uh-huh," I respond as I start to put the pieces together behind by hand.

"Now, hold on," Huyang says, stopping me, placing a metallic hand on my arm gently. "First you need to awaken The Force within the crystal, otherwise it will produce no blade."

I pick up up the crystal and hold it up in front of me between my fingers, looking at it in curiosity, wondering how I might "awaken The Force within."

I close my eyes and focus on the crystal, reaching out towards it. I had felt it before, this feeling like these crystals were The Force itself. I found it easily enough, but I noticed something else as well. Despite the fact that there were seven other crystals in the room that I was fully aware of I had not sensed them. My brow furrowed in confusion as I realized this.

"Is there something wrong, Janus," Huyang asks.

"No," I answer belatedly. "I just…can't find the other crystals."

"Ah, yes," Huyang replies in recognition. "That crystal is unique to you, and only you can sense it in its current state, just as the others are the only ones that can connect with theirs."

I open my eyes and look at the crystal. "Connect, huh?" Focusing through The Force once again I find the crystal. I try to "connect" with it in some manner, but there is no real way to describe, it just happens, without my really being cognizant of it. It's almost like just the simple matter of accepting something about yourself that you hadn't thought about before.

I open my eyes and look at the crystal, now glowing a bright blue. All of my classmates have stopped working and are looking in my direction and somehow I get the feeling that the glowing wasn't the only thing that had caught their attention. Perhaps they felt the crystal awakening.

"Yes, yes, very good, now you will construct your lightsaber. Do not do it by hand, let The Force guide its creation, so that it will truly be _your _weapon," Huyang says cheerfully before he walks off to assist another of the children.

I place the crystal down with the rest of the components and ponder it for a moment. That doesn't last long as I suddenly feel a sudden surge in The Force, followed quickly by another, then a short time later by another. Slowly each of the crystals begin to glow brightly as each of us awaken them. Shades of blue and green light the walls and ceilings, combining in numerous ways as another and then another crystal comes to life. By the time that all eight of the kyber crystals are awakened I'm looking at the colors in wonder. Is this the essence of nature of The Force? So bright and alive?

After a moment I return to my saber and look over the components one last time. A power cell, the blade emitter complete with blade length adjuster and belt clip, the conduits that connect them, and the pieces of the metal casing to contain them and form the hilt. At its heart, the kyber crystal though which the power cell focuses its energy, giving the blade its form and color.

Finally I return to my task and begin to focus on constructing my lightsaber. I close my eyes and, through The Force, begin to focus on what my saber should look, the parts floating up and combining and recombining to match the schematic that's forming my head. I hears a loud click as the final pieces come together.

I open my eyes. "No, that's not it," I mutter as I close them again and the saber deconstructs, the separate parts floating gently back down to the floor.

"What's wrong, Janus?" Huyang asks, coming over to my side. "That was perfectly constructed, or as near as can be expected on a first attempt. I would have been happy to inspect it and give suggestions as to how to improve your design. Why did you dismantle it?"

"It didn't feel…right," I reply.

"Hm…" Huyang replies, "then what would make it right?"

"I don't know," I say after a moment of hesitation. Standing up, I start looking through the various shelves in search of something else to add to my lightsaber.

There were different trinkets and different exotic woods and metal that could be added to the hilt. Each one I refuse in turn.

"I did it!" I hear Falen yell in delight.

I turn around to see the redhead hand his lightsaber to Huyang, beaming with pride.

"Yes, very well done," the Professor says as he inspects the weapon. "However," he continues, returning it to Falen, "the crystal focusing matrix is inverted. If you tried to use this it would blow off your hand."

Falen takes the lightsaber back, dumbfound. Frantically he begins to disassemble it so that he could start anew.

After this episode I return to my fruitless search for something to complete my lightsaber. An assortment of rare metals, stones, and even wood, but none of them feel right to me.

"Hey, Janus," I hear Kira say from behind me.

"Hm?" I respond, turning my head to look.

"Here," she says, slipping something into my hand. "Try this."

I look down at the little bauble that has been put in my hand. It looks like a three pronged pommel piece, made of a silverly metal with small shiny gemstones embedded into the prongs. Looking down at it, I can feel it. This is right, this is meant to be part of my lightsaber.

I look up at Kira and smile at her. "Thanks."

"No problem," she replies, smiling back.

Returning to my collection of parts, I place the pommel piece in its appropriate spot and sit cross legged in front of the arrangement. Closing my eyes and holding out my hands, I begin to assemble my lightsaber via The Force, the parts floating up and coming together as the image of my weapon, my ally came together in my mind.

Opening my eyes I grab my finished product from the air. Turning it over in my hands a few times as I stand up, I hold the weapon out in front of me and ignite the blade, a cylinder of blue light that burst forth from the hilt, about a meter long.

"Very good Janus!" Huyang says, walking over to me. I adjust the length of blade to make it shorter as he addresses me.

"If you would give it to me I'll tune it a bit," the professor says, holding out his hand.

I deactivate the weapon and hand it to the ancient droid, who looks over it with the speed and precision that only a droid can attain.

Huyand fidgets a bit with some of the parts, pushing things around slightly, likely only perfecting my design, then offers it back to me. "A very good weapon, Janus, it should serve you well."

I clip my new lightsaber to my belt and bow to the droid as a show of respect. "Thank you, Professor."

"Come on now, shoo, shoo," the droid says to me, "let the others finish their work as well."

Surprised at the sudden change in tone, I quickly step out of the room. Without much else to do or anybody else to talk to, I head towards the cockpit.

"Hm," Obi-wan says says as I open the door to the cockpit, "is something wrong?"

"No," I reply.

Obi-wan looks down at my lightsaber and nods slightly. "Ah, I see. So you're already finished."

"Uh-huh," I respond as I sit down in the co-pilot's chair.

"You know," Obi-wan says as he returns to the ship's controls, idly making some adjustments to the instruments, "my Master once told me something, when I foolishly lost my lightsaber and he had recover it for me. 'This weapon is your life,' he said, putting the weapon in my hand, 'don't ever lose it again.'"

I take my own lightsaber from my belt and look at it for a moment. "My life, huh?" I say to myself. Perhaps my life was only just beginning.


End file.
